Little Pink Book

I had this little book where I wrote all my compositions since high school. Writing had always been my way of expressing me... I thought I had lost that notebook already, until I found it in my old mementos box that hass been hidden in my closet for like ages ago. And it surprises me on how many poems and shorts stories I had written there (was I that disturbed?! :p ), But then it helped me to be me...

Wandering Heart
Rain seem to pour endlessly,
Sending shiver down my spine
It felt cold – I feel cold.
But not as cold as
My seemingly icy heart,
And I wonder would I ever feel?
To be in love,
Would it touch me, would it melt me?
Or would it break me?
I don’t know and its scares me.
To be in love,
Should I search for it?
Or run away from it?
Maybe – maybe not
Can I inhale it?
Can I seize it?
Love,
Can you find me?

kahit ma stress ako...

Gusto ko ng world peace!

Stress ako this past few months and so far okay naman ako. Enjoy pa na naman ako, masaya, maganda... ;p

Untill last week.

Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit ako namomroblema ng hindi ko naman problema its just that involve ako sa ayaw at sa gusto ko! A friend of mine is having problems right now and is going through a lot. As in.

Actually hindi ko talaga alam kung saan nag ugat ang lahat kasi alam ko okay naman siya (oviously mali ako kasi nga hindi siya okay) I mean, we've been talking and akala ko na get over na niya kung ano man ang nangyari.

Lagi niyang sinasabi na masaya siya sa buhay niya, na dapat lang naman dahil wala naman talagang dahilan para malungkot dahil halos lahat naman ng tao sa mundo ay nakakaranas ng kabiguan one way or another. Iba-ibang level nga lang...

Badtrip nga ako dun minsan, kasi kung makapag salita parang siya lang ang may karapatang maging masaya! Sabihan ba naman ako ng "Get a Life!"

Haller! Masaya ako! Masayang masaya!

So yun...balik tayo kung bakit lumalaki ang eyebag 'ko dahil sa stress.

Actually feeling may kasalanan din ako kung bakit siya nagka 'ganon. I should have seen it comming. I should have been more sensitive and patient. Aminado naman ako na minsan talaga hindi ko siya sineseryoso (may times talaga kasi ng nangungulot ang bangs ko sa pakikinig sa kanya dahil magulo pa siya sa magulo) not because I was being a bitch but because I really hate to think na posibleng bumalik na naman siya sa dati. Besides hindi naman talaga ako yung tipo na pang teleserye kung mag comfort ng kaibigan.

Sabi nga nila wala daw akong kwentang kausap, kasi hindi nila marinig sa akin kung ano man ang gusto nilang marinig na maaring ika-gaan ng mga loob nila. Mas gusto ko daw ngumata kaysa yakapin sila habang umiiyak. Na hindi ko naman itinatanggi dahil nababaduyan ako sa ganon.

Seriously. It just hit me right now on how serious the situation is. Hindi rin nakatulong ang mga sinabi niya sa akin the past weeks, kulang ang salitang shock para i describe ang naramdaman ko! Pakiramdam ko kasi isang factor iyon. Tapos ngayon tinatanong ako ng lahat kung ano kaya ang possible nakapag trigger sa kung ano man. God knows how I wanted to help pero.... And it honestly hurt me na makita siyang ganon.

Sana makatulong ang presence namin sa kanya.

Tulungan niya ang sarili niya.

Kasi kahit gusto ko ng katamikan, hindi pa rin masaya pag walang magulo. Kahit halos lahat kami ay nakukulta ang utak marinig pa lang ang boses niya, or tumkbo nang mabilis makita lang anino niya still hindi masaya pag wala siya.

Kaya please lang bakla...

Bumalik ka na! :')

being single...

I talked to a friend last week and wished I hadn’t. It was a day after the ‘heart’ day and I should have guessed that she would raise her favorite topic: LOVE. I have nothing against it only that I know where it would lead as always.

So I just let her talk while I munch on my merienda, I don’t really feel guilty for not paying attention on what she was saying (I’d probably heard it anyway… she has a tendency to be so redundant!) besides she looked nostalgic she’ll probably didn’t want any interruptions. Or so I thought. Because after hearing her say that she’s never been happy now that she already have someone (hey, I did listen to her after all…) she turned to me and said “I want you to be happy like me.” I was like Duh? Do I look like I'm not happy because I'm single?!
Well actually she was not the first person who told me that. Almost all my friends, at one point did. I understand and I know they mean well, that maybe they only want me to experience the “happiness” that comes in loving someone. But sometimes it gets annoying, especially when they look at me like I'm some kind of a weirdo.
I admit that were times when I felt like saying yes to the first guy who shows interest, so I could relate to them whenever they talked about it and just so they would stop. But it’s not me. I'm not in any rush to get hitched. If someone comes along that would make me change my mind then it would be nice but if not it would still okay because being happy for me doesn’t necessarily mean having someone (I hate to think that my happiness depends on another person…).
Being single is not as bad as many people thinks. Actually it is fun. I don’t have to worry about a boyfriend asking me where I am and who I am with, can stay out late, drink, party, out of town, meet new male friends with no one accusing me of being unfaithful.
Besides I'm having the time of my life discovering me. Who cares if I have to spend another valentine alone? I love being single and free…

rare kind of courage...

>>>by: BREN

It is always good to hear stories about people who made a difference because they are not afraid to stand for what they believe in. Like, I never got tired of listening to my ‘Lolo’, Telling me stories about the Filipino’s who had risked their lives during the World War II or never got bored reading books about different acts of courage.

I have always been fascinated in it-still am. I don’t know, but it never failed to make me feel better. Maybe because it made me appreciate life better, besides, not all people have the courage to even speak up! (I am not saying that they\re all cowards. Well maybe they just belonged to the so–called “MEDIOCRE group”) I am not talking about just being brave, as in dying for the sake of others or for one\s countries. But also in fighting for what they believed is right and just. But there is this kind of courage which is not associated with “I am willing to die, heroic type.” This is the courage to admit one’s fault.

People in nature have the tendency to feel superior. We wanted to know everything. Be perfect if possible. And admit it; we really hate committing mistakes (who wants to?). We try to avoid that as much as possible. Because we wanted to feel good, we don’t want disappointments which make it hard for us to accept even the littlest short comings.

But hey! People do slip and fall sometimes (Part of being a human…). It’s just a matter of taking things in better perspective. Like if you think you’ve made a mistake, think of it as new experience and new lesson learned (laughing it off sometimes help) which will make us a bit wiser. What is important is we know how to correct it. Accept that you had been wrong. That you are not perfect-nobody is. And say sorry if needed. Because its takes a lot more courage to accept one’s flaws and be humble. That kind of courage is so rare that it took a person by surprise…